ISIS has officially warned the United States that if the United States continues meddling in Syria, Egypt, Libya, Iran and Afghanistan, they intend to cut off America's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.
If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T, and AOL customer service reps.
Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more presidents.
It's gonna get ugly, people...
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