Irishman Paddy wanted another drink

But Mick the pub owner said "ya had enough, go on home Paddy"
I am guessing your right Mick, and with that he spun around on his stool, focused his eyes on the door, got up and proceeded to fall face first on the floor.
"Oh, Saints be praised, I must be drunken than me thought. If I can just get to the door and git a bit of fresh air all will be well"
So he crawls towards the door, pulls himself up holding onto the jamb, takes a deep breath of night air and thinks "Oh this be great! I am revived."
He takes and step and bam. Face first onto the cobblestone sidewalk.
"Oh me Lord! I didn't think I was this drunk. Well, I can see me front door just a couple of doors down. I can crawl there."
So he proceeds to creep to his home, he reaches the door and pulls himself up and opens the door. Looking up at the stairs he must climb, he says "Oh I can make that. I am closer to me bed" and again he falls onto the floor.
This time he works his way along the floor, up the stairs and makes it to his bed.
The next morning his lovely wife Maggie awakens him with the sound of clattering coffee cups. "Oh, so you got a drunk on last night. Here, have yourself a cup of coffee."
"Oh my Maggie, apparently I did. But how do you know?"
"Because Mick called from the pub and told me. And also, he said, you left your wheelchair."