iPhone is a revolutionary portable communications device, and now it's gotten even better with the iPhone 3G. Keeping your calendar up-to-date is a snap. You can go back to the day you spent $600 on the first generation iPhone, then scroll forward to see the day the price was lowered by $200. You can even view pictures of your reaction when you found out you might as well have thrown $200 bills into a urinal. And peed on them. Use the all-new scientific calculator to tally how much the new iPhone 3G is going to cost you, factoring in the 15 to 25 percent increase in monthly service charges. Don't forget to subtract what you could sell your first generation iPhone for. The new iPhone has GPS, so you can easily find your current location, and how long it will take you to walk home from there. Because damn if you have any money left for gas. And don't forget: lightning-fast broadband speed anywhere you go. Large documents, such as eviction notices and letters from collection agencies, will download faster than a speeding bullet, coming to offer you the sweet release of death. iPhone 3G: I haven't eaten in days.
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