An new resident of a nursing home is overly proud of how fit he is for his age. On his first day, wearing his track suit, he goes over to a group of ladies playing bridge, and says, "Guess how old I am, ladies!"
"Um, sixty-five?" one of them says.
"Nope! I'm eighty-two years old!" he says proudly. He wanders over to a group of men watching TV, and says, "Guess how old I am, gentlemen!"
"I don't know, seventy?" one says.
"Nope! I'm eighty-two years old!"
He then spies an old woman in a wheelchair seated over by the window, and approaches her. "Guess how old I am!" he says again.
She reaches over and pulls down his track pants, then cups his balls and pulls on his penis a few times. "You're eighty-two years old," she says.
"Th-that's amazing!" the man says. "How did you know?"
She says, "Oh, I heard you tell those guys over there."
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