I'm not afraid of someone who threatens to open up a can of whoopass on me...

I want to get one...

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?" I'll be like...

At a party a guy...

"You filthy pervert!" she shrieked. "What makes you think I'd let you do a...

I know how to nip...

Just look for signs of brooding antisocial February fever. - Norm Macdonald

The Leprechaun Of...

A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but when he went to wipe his...

A woman brings 8...

John's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them, they are bound to be...

What do you call...

A rebel without a gauze

Little Tommy was...

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything;...

How did Hitler...

"A jew!"

Poof! You're a d

How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a...

I hate when...

Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision.