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I would like to burn my alarm clock and sue the makers of it for all the years of mental trauma, anguish, and self-loathing it's morning beeps are the direct cause of.

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  3. I would like to burn my alarm clock and sue the makers of it for all the years of mental trauma, anguish, and self-loathing it's morning beeps are the direct cause of.

But I'd probably be late to court.

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