I was talking to a farmer in a pub....

I was in a pub out the back of nowhere, with a mate, and we struck up a great conversion with an old farmer at the bar. I asked him to tell us a bit about himself, and he told is this great story.

"See, I loved tractors, right, ever since I was a little kid, my dad would take me out to lots of tractor shows around the state, and to my favourite, tractor towing contests". I had no idea that this was a thing, and so I asked him about it.

"It's tug of war, two tractors tied onto a big strong chain, and they try to pull each other over the mid point. Out where I used to live, these competitions where held every second Saturday, I'd won a few titles myself, actually. One weekend, quite a long time ago, I met a lady at one of these events, Angie, her name was, and we hit it off straight away. She was as into tractors as much as anyone I knew, almost more than me! I could hardly believe it. Well, 10 short months down the track, I asked her to marry me, and she said yes! In another 2 months, we married in my dad's barn. I was the happiest man alive."

He looks down into his empty beer glass, and spins it slowly on the bar, a sad smile playing across his mouth. I offer him a refill, but he declines. He continues...

"That weekend, Angie and I went to the tractor pulling together, as we had done every second weekend since we met, and stood on the fence line, cheering on the two tractors. The engines were revving, the mud was flying, the chain was creaking, and then..."

He swallows, blinking.

"... The chain snaps. A single link flies off, and hits Angie, square in the chest. There was nothing I could do, nothing anyone could do."

He goes back to looking into his glass, slowly turning it on the bar.

"That day, I swore myself of tractors, forever. I couldn't look at a tractor without being flooded with feelings. Every second Saturday, I'd visit Angie's grave, with fresh flowers. A year passed in the blink of an eye, then 2 more. I finally got out and about, me mates dragged me down to the pub one evening, for a bucks night. While we were there, I had a few too many beers, and ended up taking to a lady who was at the pub that night. It turns out she loved tractors!

“We had a good talk, and chatted long in to the night. I thought to myself, maybe this lady is the one? But just as last drinks were being called, smoke starts to come out of the kitchen, and the bartender come running out, yelling ' the place is on fire!' Everyone is rushing for the doors, but I just say there and took in deep breath, I just kept sucking in air, until there was no more to be sucked in, and the fire went out!"

I had to stop him there, that's not possible, I told him, you can't do that.

"Of course I can mate, I told you, I'm an ex-tractor fan."

This is a repost from a comment I made. It got a few votes, so I'm re-posting it.


You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.