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I was having lunch with a friend; he remarked that my girlfriend seemed nice but was rather ugly. I said, "First off, she's not my girlfriend, I only paid for the night."

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  3. I was having lunch with a friend; he remarked that my girlfriend seemed nice but was rather ugly. I said, "First off, she's not my girlfriend, I only paid for the night."

"Second, that's no way to talk about your mother."

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