How to pick up women if you don't like eye contact.

I'm a guy who's had trouble with women all my life. I'm okay in everyday situations when I don't have to make too much eye contact, but if I have dinner with a girl and I have to look into her eyes the whole time I get terrified.

My friend tried to match me up with his beautiful cousin, and he planned it so that we wouldn't have to have dinner together. He told me a day and time that she would have coffee in her usual starbucks on East road, before walking to the county court for an apointment.

So he gave me the address for her usual starbucks, and I programmed it into my sat nav. I parked down the road from the starbucks, and waited at a distance for her to leave. Just as I was thinking that I wouldn't know how to identify her, I saw the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. 'It has to be her' I thought. Brimming with confidence, I walked over to her and said 'Excuse me, do you know the way to the county court?' But just then, a loud voice in my pocket said: `You have reached your destination'

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.