She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - she is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - she is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - she is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - she is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not want to be MARRIED - she wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - she is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - she engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - she is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - she is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
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