How many policemen does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Five. One to hold the bulb, two to spin the table beneath him, and the other two to spin the table in the opposite direction to make sure he doesn't get dizzy.

Bonus: How many superintendents does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Just one, because he's smarter than ordinary policemen and knows that the Earth spins by itself.

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