Holding

A man and his wife are in bed getting hot and heavy when the wife just pushes him away and says, "No, actually I don't feel like sex tonight. Could you just hold me?"

The man very mad says, "What?! Why the hell can't we have sex??"

The woman replies, "This is so typical, you have no idea what it's like to be a women! You just don't understand me!" And she turns over and goes to sleep.

The next day the man tells his wife he is so sorry and to make up for his mistakes they are going to the mall.
So the man takes her to the clothing department of a very expensive store and has her try on outfits. She can't decide which one she likes, so the man tells her to take them all. She jumps up and down and hugs him. Then they go over to the jewelry department, The woman sees a nice pair of diamond earrings but the husband says the price isn't right. It's too low, so he gives her a tennis bracelet worth twice the amount of the earrings.
Thinking she's had enough of shopping the man goes to the till.

The man goes up to the cashier and gives her all the items, and says, "We've changed our minds. Could you put these back for us?"

The woman has a stunned look on her face and asks her husband what the hell he's talking about.

The man replies, "You thought I was gonna buy all this?? That's so typical, you don't know what it's like to have to work for money that you spend. I just wanted you to HOLD them for awhile."