Piggybacking on today’s announcement of Yahoo’s “On-Demand” password-less password system, Hillary Clinton revealed the real reason that she had been using a private email account to conduct government business.
“Now that Yahoo has announced they’re doing away with passwords, I’m finally at liberty to set the record straight,” said Clinton. “The one and only reason that I have been using a personal email account to conduct matters of state is because of the State Department’s impossible password policy.“
The policy that Clinton refers to is a carryover from the George W. Bush administration. It requires that passwords of Democratic Party members have least 5 uppercase characters, 9 lowercase characters, 7 numeric digits, 6 non-printable characters, 8 floating point numbers and 4 Shift JIS characters. Also, passwords cannot appear in a dictionary of any language, they expire twice a day, and the same one can never be used twice. Republicans, on the other hand, in view of their backing of the Patriot Act, are allowed to use zero-character passwords that never expire.
Clinton’s frustration came to a head after taking a selfie in the President’s Oval Office chair while the President stepped out for a bio break. “I tried to email it to my 2016 election campaign staff as a joke, when I discovered that I was locked out of my email for the third time that morning. Frustrated, I phoned my friend Marissa [Mayer] over at Yahoo and asked her what she thought I should do about it. That was when I learned that Yahoo was testing out a new password-less password system. Right then and there I told her to sign me up!”
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