Gonna Back to Italy

(Attention: this must be read with an Italian accent, preferably out loud.)
One day ima gonna Malta to a bigga hotel. ina morning I go to eat brekfast. I
tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. she brings me only one piss. I tella
her I want two piss. she says go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna
two piss onna my plate. she says you better not piss on plate you sonna ma
bitch. later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. the waitress brings me a spoon
and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. she tells me everyone does. I
tella her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. she say better not fock
on table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me a sonna
ma bitch. so I go to my room inna hotel, and there is no sheit. I call the
manager and tella him I wanna a sheit. he tella me go to the toilet. I say you
no understand, I wanna s*** on my bed. he says you better not piss on bed you
sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man and he call me a sonna ma bitch. I go
to the checkout and the man at the desk say: ''peace unto you'' I say ''piss
unto you too Ya, sonna ma bitch. I gonna back to Italy''