A man who lives on the outskirts of a small town drove into to town early on a Sunday morning. He went to church and did his confession.
At the end of confession the father said to him “God is with you”
The man said “Thank you father” and walked out. As he left he bumps into a nun and she drops her flowers. He told her he was sorry and helped her pick up the flowers.
The nun said “God is with you son”
The man thanked her and kept on walking. As he is walking he runs into a homeless man begging for chnange. The man gives him a dollar. The homeless man says to him “God is with you”. And the man continues on with his walk thinking to himself “I can sure use a drink right about now” and heads on over to the nearest bar.
He drinks for hours until it starts getting dark. He decides to go home but the bartender stops him.
“You sure you're okay to drive buddy?” asks the bartender.
“I'll be fine...hic” says the man “after all...God is with me!” and he leaves.
He gets in his truck and starts to drive home. Its really dark now and he can't see very far. The drive home is full of curves and sharp turns.
He passes the first curve and almost hits a tree but comes out okay. He is way above the speed limit at this point. He comes up on the second curve and he doesn't slow down enough for it and flies off the road tumbling down the hill and dies instantly.
He wakes up at the pearly gates. St. Peter calls him and asks him “Why do you deserve to be in heaven?”
The man is baffled and confused. “I'm not supposed to be here”. The man looks around and sees God and waves him down. “Hey God what gives? I thought you were with me? Where were you?”
To which God replied “Are you kidding. I jumped out at the first curve”
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