Funny j0kes

Theres three guys that are builder men. One day they are all
complaining how there life is so boring and that if they get the
same lunch once more they will commit suicide.
The next day the three men all got the same sandwiches. They all
commit suicide. All the wifes are called and told what happened.
The first two wifes say that they should have never packed them
those lunches! The third wife says: I dont get it? He packed his
own lunch!


Three teenagers are walking in the forest when they meet a
wizrd. He tells them that if they jump off the cliff and wish
for sumptin they will fall rite into it so... The first girl
wishes for gold and lands in a pile of gold. The guy wishes for
money and lands in money. the third guy trips on a rock and says
Crap! he lands in a pile of crap


What do u say to sumone who tries to steal yur cheese?


NATCHO CHEESE!


What did one light say to the other?


YOU TURN ME ON


What did one knife say to the other?


YOUR LOOKING SHARP TODAY


Your pretty...
Pretty ugly!


how to give yourself a facial:


Ingridients:


1/2 glass of fresh dirt
2 onions
a bag of flour
Lemons


DIRECTIONS:


1- Get some fresh dirt from your garden.


2- Take the fresh dirt and rub it all over your face (do not put
on your eyes or lips)


3- take the two onions and put them on your eyes! (they replace
cucumbers any time) Fact-- Onions are good for your eyes because
they clear your tear duxes


4- Take the flour and get someone to pour it all over your face.
It will clear your pours and make your face a lighter color. (If
you are pale use brown sugar)


5- Leave on for about 5 minutes and then get sumone to pour the
lemon all over your face for a nice clean feeling


6- After 30 minutes take off! Your face will be beutiful ( If
troubles taking off use gardening tools)