A new study shows sugary drinks cause over 180k deaths a year, only 4 of which are from being crushed by a soda machine. I like those odds!
Japan has created a remote controlled mobile toilet, because sometimes you just gotta go.
A North Korean spokesman has said that its nuclear arms are not a bargaining chip for food or assistance. Said Kim Jong Un, "Chips? Food?!"
The Westboro Bastist Church will soon be next door to a rainbow-painted pro-gay house, with a white picketing fence.
A climate change denier has been named head of the House Climate Change Subcommittee, though maybe if we deny it he'll go away.
A man who robbed a pharmacy in Louisiana was tracked down by a pickax he left in the store, so it sounds like he picked the wrong ax.
Harry Reems, star of the infamous porn "Deep Throat," died Wednesday at 65. He is survived by millions of sperm on this gross couch.
A hotel maid was caught on February 13th stealing 13 pills from Room 13. Terrible service, but let me tell you about the maid for Room 69...
All based on real news from this week. See more @FridayUpdate on twitter.
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