What's the standard issue weapon in the French army? A white flag.
What's the only French martial art? Parkour, the art running away.
Like the entrance to Hogwarts, if you look at the French flag from exactly the right angle (like that of an invading army), it turns white.
An American, Russian, and French soldier see a German machine gunner. The Russian calls on his comrades to repeatedly suicide charge the German until he runs out of bullets. The American calls for a synchronized bombing strike using the full might the American military to obliterate the German (and all the nearby land). The Frenchman gets blown up by the American strike, because he already surrendered and was taken prisoner by the German.
For sale: A French rifle. Never fired, dropped once.
What's the difference between a French soldier and a brain-dead jugghead? The jugghead runs towards the battle.
Inspired by the American president. The French prime-minister ordered his secret service to carry around a locked briefcase that can only be unlocked by the prime-minister in case of an emergency war. Inside is said to be the controls to the national white-flag system.
What's the French military motto? Don't shoot, we surrender.
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