Freddie doesn't know how to get laid.

Every weekend Freddie hits the neighborhood bar to try and get some action. Every weekend, Freddie goes home alone. One night, Freddie notices a man walk up to a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. He sees the man whisper something in her ear. The woman is taken aback, but he whispers one more thing and the woman relaxes. They talk for a few minutes and walk out together.

The next weekend Freddie is back at the bar and notices the same man there again. He sees him walk up to a beautiful woman at the bar and whisper something in her ear. The woman is taken aback, but he whispers one more thing and they end up going home together.

For two more weekends Freddie sees this happen the exact same way, and decides he needs to find out this guy's secret. He approaches the man and says "For four weeks I've seen you take home a beautiful woman every time without fail. You've gotta tell me your secret."

"Well," the man says. "First I walk up to a woman and whisper in her ear, 'I want to tickle your butt with a feather.' She goes, 'What?!' and then I say, 'How about that weather?'. She thinks I'm just a nice guy asking her about the weather, but she has sex on her mind the whole time."

Freddie decides he needs to try this for himself.

The very next weekend he walks up to a woman at the bar and says "I want to rip your vagina with a meat cleaver."

The woman goes, "What?!?!"

And Freddie says, "It's FUCKING RAINING."