Farting

When not to Fart: 1. In a crowded elevator2. On a crowded bus3. In a public library4. While on a date5. While giving a speech6. In church7. In a crowded classroom8. In your office when you're alone - someone's bound to walk in immediately afterwards9. In a movie theater 10. In your cubicle at work - again someone's bound to walk in to visit11. In a walk-in freezer - it'll linger a while12. In an commercial airplane13. In a ticket line14. In your car before picking up a family member15. during confession16. In bed when you're feeling frisky17. In a Cessna18. While fighting fire in a burning building19. In a patrol car for a minor violation When to Fart: 1. In your bosses office as you are turning to leave. Tip-Make sure it's a silent one.2. In a bathroom3. In a cashier's line - it might help to speed up things4. In an empty elevator before you get off5. Next to an occupied changing room - it may quickly become unoccupied.6. In someone elses unoccupied cubicle at work7. While parachuting8. While scuba diving9. In the back seat of a patrol car if you are arrested10. During interrogation if you're the one being interrogated11. In your car if you've been carjacked12. In the changing room when you're sure someone else is waiting their turn.13. In your car once you've been pulled over. The cop may let you go quicker.14. During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors15. While walking down a crowded hallway. Nobody will know who to blame.