Three soldiers of the Falklands Conflict saved their battalion from a minefield, and their commanding officer decided to reward them. They were waiting for their CO in his office in London when he strolled in. "Well chaps, since this wasn't officially a war I can't give you any medals. So, I will measure the distance between any two points of your body, and give you five times that measurement in Pounds Sterling."
The first soldier decided almost immediately. "I'll measure from my head to the bottom of my boot, Sir!" The officer measured it out. "183 centimetres, not bad! You just made 915 pounds."
The second soldier said: "From my left middle fingertip to my right middle fingertip." The captain measured it out and said "190 centimetres! Even better!" Then the captain came to the third soldier. He was a slight man, not very tall. He said "I'd like to measure from the palm of my left hand to the tip of my left pinkie, Sir!" The captain thought this was strange but he didn't pay any mind. As the measurement was being carried out, the captain noticed the man's pinkie was missing! "Where the hell's your pinkie, private!?" "Why, the Falkland Islands, Sir!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.