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"Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket."

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  3. "Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket."

"I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably just yogurt."

"It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yogurt"

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