Ed and Bob had just landed the biggest sale in their firm's history.

Ed and Bob had just landed the biggest sale in their firm's history. Ed knew he had to hurry home to his pushy wife Mary, but Bob persuaded him to have a drink or two at a nearby tavern. Being a lightweight, Ed vomited all over his shirt and tie after only a few.

"Aww man, Mary is going to kill me Bob. You know she doesn't want me drinking or hanging out in bars."

Bob, feeling overly confident about their recent victory was sure he had the solution. "Don't you worry about her. Just put this crisp twenty in your shirt pocket. When she sees the vomit tell her that someone else puked on you, and gave you the twenty to pay for the cleaning." They continued to drink until the Tavern closed and each took their own cab home.

When Ed arrived, Mary was waiting, furious at the hour, and his obvious state of drunkenness.

"Where have you been!" Ed was already unbuttoning his shirt. "You're drunk... and covered in vomit! What is wrong with you? I should have listened to my mother you worthless sack of... "

"Now hold on one minute, woman!" Ed drunkenly interrupted while Mary tore through and examined his things. "I can explain that vomit! It wasn't me! A guy down at the Tavern threw up all over my shirt. Look in my shirt pocket, there's a twenty dollar bill. He was honorable enough to pay for the cleaning." He was already crawling into bed, and pulling the covers over himself. "You see, I'm not always the bad guy."

Mary held up two twenty dollar bills. " Ed, there was $40 in your pocket."

Ed lifted up from his pillow, squinted one eye, and tried to focus on her. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. He shit my pants too."


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