* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
* If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead?"
* I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me, they're cramming for their finals.
* I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use...toothpicks?
* Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
* How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
* If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
* Go ahead and take risks....just be sure that everything will turn out OK.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
* Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
* How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?
* Light travels faster than sound. Maybe that's why some people appear bright until you hear them talk....
* Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
* If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.