Dan is the most unlucky man in the world.

This was his third time sitting in jail awaiting trial in a California courthouse. As he claims, it was all a big misunderstanding. Dan was down on hard times; He caught his wife cheating on him with another man. His two kids won’t talk to him anymore. He lost his house to his wife in the divorce. The only thing Dan had left was his flower delivery business, Dan’s Daffodils, which he ran out of the same white delivery van he lived in.

The first incident happened in June. Dan had just been denied for a business loan from the bank. As he was parked outside in his van, three masked men jumped in and told him to drive. Fearing for his life, he drove off. Turns out the men were bank robbers and Dan’s van matched the getaway vehicle. At his trial, Judge Holz said “Daniel, I am inclined to believe this is a bit of a misunderstanding. This is your first warning.”

The second incident happened in August. Dan parked in a secluded parking lot to sleep in his van for the night. In the hot California sun, he stripped naked to cool off. In the morning, he was awoken by two police officers, naked as the day he was born, in an elementary school parking lot. At his second trial, Judge Holz said “Daniel, it’s getting hard to believe this is all a misunderstanding. This is your second warning.”

The third incident happened in September. Things were starting to look up for Dan’s flower delivery business; he just booked a big contract with a funeral home. He went to a bar to celebrate that evening and had a few too many. He stumbled home to his van and passed out in the driver’s seat, which according to California law, is Intent to Drive under the Influence. As he walked into the courthouse, he saw Judge Holz sitting on the bench. Judge Holz turned to him and said “Damn Daniel, back at it again with that white van!”