Paul Ryan has an alternative to O'Bama-care. It involves the poor selling body parts & a town crier yelling "Bring out your dead"!
Hillary's slogan is 'I'm with her'. Wasn't that Chris Jenner's slogan as well?
I'll be performing at the world's largest music festival "Summerfest" on July 3rd at the Renegade Stage at 3 & 5 :PM.
They're renovating the tomb of Jesus. How much upkeep foes that take? He was only there for 3 crummy days!
If I don't pay my bills, they turn off the electricity, cable, & water. Doesn't that technically make me Amish?
I'm on decaf now. That means I have no excuse for being a miserable jerk. I just have to learn to love myself even more.
Good Humor has brought back it's ice cream trucks this summer. They're updated. They'll have armed guards & sell ecstasy!
My friend runs marathons for the 'runners high'. I'm so out of shape I get the same feeling if I stand up too quick!
They now have special 'kids menu's' at restaurants. Growing up the kids menu had 2 choices, 'eat it' or 'go hungry'!
I'm planning my annual barbeque for July 9th. I like to schedule the first family fist fight between the potato salad and the baked beans. That leaves time to squeeze in the name calling & threats before the watermelon!
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