A submarine captain was pretty annoyed by his crew members to inability to control themselves while in submarine. The entire submarine was dirty, smeared with crew splooge.
The captain comes with an idea. He asks the sailors to jack off in a barrel. Once the barrel is full, he makes candles out of the stuff and donates them to the church at place where submarine embarks. The submarine is pretty clean now.
A year passes and the submarine embarks at the same place. The captain goes to the church pastor and asks how the candles turned out.
The pastor is pretty mad at captain and yells "WHAT CANDLES? ALL MY NUNS ARE PREGNANT"!
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