A few years ago, for father's day, I made a "joke" thread for my dad on /r/funny and asked people to submit jokes. I ended up reading the thread to him and it was one of his favorite things I've ever done. This year for his birthday, he asked me to do the same, but I've since discovered this subreddit and figured it might be a more appropriate place.
He likes all jokes, from tame to offensive. I'll start off with his favorite joke. (At least his favorite that he can remember enough to tell.)
BATON ROUGE
A guy in Baton Rouge is hanging out near a seedy bar when a callgirl yells at him "Hey sir! Want a blowjob?"
Not being the type particularly inclined towards prostitution, the man responds "No, thank you."
The prostitute replies "You sure? I give the best blowjobs in Louisiana."
"I'm sure you do," the man replies, incredulously.
"Look over at that restaurant," the woman says. The man sees in front of him a very large, opulent restaurant. "I own that restaurant, along with every restaurant this side of town. I bought them all with the money I make from giving blowjobs."
"Huh," says the man. Intrigued, he decides to bow to his lesser nature and give it a shot.
30 minutes pass and surely enough, the prostitute is true to her word. It was hands down the best blowjob the man ever had.
As he is paying her he gets another funny inkling, "You wouldn't happen to do.... anal sex... would you?"
The woman walks over to the window and points to an enormous brick building. "See that bank?" she asks. "Yeah."
"I give the best anal sex in all of Louisiana and I bought that bank along with every bank in town with the money I make from butt-fucking."
The man strips off his clothes and within a few minutes, comes with the force of 1000 suns.
He's exhausted, but thoroughly impressed, and willing to muster up a last bit of strength. "I don't know if you'd consider it an imposition... and I wouldn't mind paying more..... but I'd LOVE to fuck your pussy."
"Pussy?" the prostitute replies as she scratches her balls, "Sweetheart, if I had a pussy, I'd own this whole fucking state."
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