Bosnian Quarterback

Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Raiders team for '99. The
only thing he was missing was a good quarterback.


He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he
couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win.


Then one night, watching CNN, he saw the war zone in Bosnia. In the
background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian
soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into
a 15th story window 200 yards away... ka-boom! He threw another hand
grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards
away--ka-blooey! A car passes going 90 miles an hour--bulls-eye! Right
into the barely open window.


"I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"


So he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.
Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed
passes, and the Raiders go on to win the SuperBowl.


The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of that year's SuperBowl,
and when Al asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to
call his mother. "Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won
the SuperBowl."


"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us.
You're not my son."


"I don't think you understand, mother," the young man pleads. "I just won
the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm in the middle of thousands
of adoring fans."


"No, let me tell you," the mother implores. "At this very moment, there
are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your
two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this
week your sister was raped in broad daylight...." The old lady pauses, in
tears, "...I'll never forgive you for moving us to Oakland!"