Are you a Mexican?

You know you are a Mexican when at your service job everyone talks to you as if you don’t speak English

You know you are a Mexican when the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse

You know you are a Mexican when there is at least one member in your family name Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus

You know you are a Mexican when you are in a 5-passenger car with 8 people in it

You know you are a Mexican when you are too short to go on rides at Disney land

You know you are a Mexican when you can’t imagine anyone not liking spicy food

You know you are a Mexican when you don’t want the Republicans to win because all your cousins will get deported

You know you are a Mexican when you fart more than you breath

You know you are a Mexican when you have a salsa stain on your shirt from a while ago that won’t come off

You know you are a Mexican when you have at least thirty cousins

You know you are a Mexican when you have beans and rice with every meal

You know you are a Mexican when you have tons of cousins to beat the hell out of somebody when you need them too

You know you are a Mexican when you hold tequila in one hand, a cross in the other, praying to La Virgen De Guadalupe

You know you are a Mexican when you run and hide when you see the border patrol

You know you are a Mexican when you see a fence and want to hop over it

You know you are a Mexican when you share the same social security number with all your amigos

You know you are a Mexican when you watch Border Wars just to re-live those days again

You know you are a Mexican when your biggest problem is deciding between tacos or burritos

You know you are a Mexican when your mowing your own grass, then a car stops to ask you how much you charge

You know you are a Mexican when your parents think your lazy because you take Spanish in high school

You know you are a Mexican when your white friends think your cousins are in drug cartels in Mexico