An Old Man is Being Audited by the IRS

He meets the IRS agent one afternoon, bringing along his attorney. The attorney is astounded by the fact that old man lives such an extravagant lifestyle but has no real steady income. The old man says he affords all his luxuries because he is such a good gambler.


"Sir, I have a hard time believing you are THAT good of a gambler that you can live so well off your winnings," says the agent.

"Well, sir, would you like a demonstration?" says the old man.

The agent agrees to gamble with the old man, so they proceed to start off with a "small" wager.

"I bet you a thousand dollars I can bite my own eye," says the old man.

The agent is perplexed, but he can't fathom how someone could bite their own eye, so he agrees to the first wager. The old man proceeds to take out his glass eye and bite on it, winning the first bet. The agent is shocked, and he's upset that he just lost a grand to some crafty old cook.

"Double or nothing I can bite the other eye!" exclaims the old man.

Seeing as the old man isn't blind, the agent agrees: there's no way he could pull the same trick, and he has to recover his losses somehow. The old man then proceeds to take out his dentures and bite his eye with them, shocking the tax man. The agent becomes distraught that he has now lost two thousand dollars right in front of this man's attorney; he starts to panic.

"Tell you what, I'll go double or nothing again," says the old man, "because I bet I can piss in that trash can across the room all the way from your desk and not let a drop hit the floor!"

Now the agent is truly confused. The old man is in his seventies, and the trash bin is at least twenty feet from his desk. The bet looks like a sure thing, and it's not like the agent has a choice since he needs to get his money back. For one last time, the agent agrees to take the old man's bet.

The old man, with great enthusiasm, climbs onto the agent's desk, whips put his dick, and just starts pissing all over the agent's papers, pens, phone, and whatever else was on his desk.

The agent is overjoyed, and he starts cheering and screaming as the old man starts laughing hysterically while zipping up his pants. However, the agent notices the man's attorney is in shock and starting to cry, so he asks him what's wrong.

"You see, sir, I'm not just this man's lawyer," says the attorney, "I'm also his nephew. And before we came in here today, this old fucker bet me fifty grand that he could piss on your desk and you'd be happy about it."