An old man and his lawyer have a meeting with an IRS agent.

They sit down in his office as the agent pulls out the man's tax records. "it says that the majority of your income is made by gambling, how do you manage that?". The man replies "I'll show you; I will bet you $1000 that I can bite my own eyeball." The agent thinks a minute and then agrees to the bet. The man pops out his glass eye and chomps down on it. The agent is surprised and disappointed.
The man then says "you didn't know I had a fake eye, so I'll give you another chance; double or nothing that I can bite my other eye!". The tax agent thinks that of course he can't have two fake eyes, so he agrees. The old man pops out his dentures and chomps them down on his other eye.
The agent is distraught, how did he fall for that? Seeing the agent upset the old man has another offer: " tell ya what, double or nothing one more time that I can stand on one end of your desk, piss into the trash can on the other side without getting a drop on the desk." the tax agent looks at his oversized 8 foot long desk and figures there's no way he can do this, so he takes the bet. The man unzips, gives it a good try, but ends up pissing all over the agent's desk. The tax agent looks up smiling that he finally won, but then sees the lawyer shaking his head in disbelief. "what's wrong with you" he asked. The lawyer responds "just before we walked in the door he bet me $10000 that he could piss all over your desk and you'd be happy about it."