An Excerpt from my new comedy E-book! "The Absurdity Of Everything" My new comedy Ebook. Free until January 8th.

A phenomenon has been occurring in Chinese buffets across the country. Some buffets use this thing called Mono Sodium Glutamate (MSG), a food additive that makes the food even more delicious. Used in correct amounts it just adds flavor. But used in incorrect amounts, a process called “re-animation” can occur. Studies show that large amounts of (MSG) can stimulate the nervous systems of dead animals, even with the heads removed. In 2007 there was a tragic re-animation case that occurred in a Boise Chinese buffet called“ Hung Far Low”. A family of four was attending the buffet after a Sunday service, when re-animation occurred suddenly and with extreme lethality. The mother sat down with some Mongolian beef on her plate, and started to gorge, when the beef attacked. According to eye witnesses, it happened so quickly the poor woman didn’t have a fighting chance. Multiples pieces of Mongolian beef lunged at the woman, knocking her off her chair. She tried to get up but the beef was to strong. Her husband and some other bystanders tried to knock the beef off of her, but it was to quick and evaded them. The husband was only able to grab a single piece of beef and smash it with a plate, before zombie beef still in serving trays, started to re-animate. Then the shock and awe turned into complete pandemonium. The Mongolian beef swarmed out of the serving trays and started wriggling their way towards the already incapacitated lady. Some beef pieces grabbed plastic knifes as they left the buffet area, and when they reached the woman, they started sawing off the woman’s feet. But that wasn't the cause of death the autopsy report says. The cause of death was asphyxiation. Over seventy five pieces of Mongolian beef had forced their way down the woman's throat. The pictures I saw on TMZ, were pretty funny though.