An awkward loner goes to a pub.

An awkward loner, sick of being lonely, makes the effort to go to a pub.

It's crowded and noisy but he decides to stay and have a counter lunch.

Having made his choice from the menu over the bar, he pushes his way to counter and attracts the the attention of a rather attractive barmaid.

"What can I get you?" she asks.

"I'd like a quickie, thanks," he replies.

She immediately flushes with and snarls, "Why don't you piss off?"

Humiliated and blushing, the guy go back to his table. After a while, he bravely decides that there was a miscommunication and makes his way back to the counter.

The barmaid glares at him but asks, "Waddaya want?"

The awkward guy says, "I'd like a quickie."

The barmaid slaps the poor guy's face so hard that it stops the noise in the pub momentarily, and all eyes are on him. Hurt and even more humiliated than before, he makes his way back to his table.

After quite some time nursing his drink, he decides on one more try before he goes home.

He pushes his way back to the counter, where the barmaid snarls, "WHAT-DO-YOU-WANT?"

He says, just loud enough to hear, "I'd like a quickie."

Quick as a flash, the barmaid punches him in the face. He drops to floor, holding his bloodied nose and lip, trying to hold back his tears.

A man sitting on a bar chair right by the guy and having seen the whole thing, leans over and says, "Look mate, it's none of my business but I think it's pronounced 'keesh' (quiche)...."