An American walks down the beach on the French Riviera

...enjoying all the topless European women sunbathing. As he walks, he becomes annoyed, noticing that several of the women giggle as he passes by. The American steps into a store to buy a water and the French shopkeeper sees his annoyance and asks, "Monsieur, why 'av you zis look on your face?"

After explaining to the Frenchman about the giggling women, the shopkeeper replies, "Ahh monsieur! French ladies are not used to seeing such long American shorts. You must wear zee speedo! Zen you will not look so silly."

So the dude buys a speedo and walks down the beach a second time. Now the ladies are pointing at the American and clearly laughing at him. Pissed off at the ridicule, he returns to the French shopkeeper who stifles his own laughter. "Hey Frenchy! I got this speedo like you said, and now the women are outright laughing at me! What. The. Hell?!"

The Frenchman explains, "Ahhh Monsieur zee Frenchmen always place a pomme de terre...uhhh.. a potato in ze speedo. Zen you will become far more appealing to zem all!"

Seemed to make sense to him, so the American buys a single potato and arranges it in his speedo. Now he struts down the beach with confidence but is instantly ridiculed by everyone on the beach! They were laughing their asses off, pointing at him, even snapping pictures of him! The American breaks into a sprint straight to the shopkeeper. "Dude! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!! I'm a laughingstock!"

The laughing Frenchman replies, "ah but Monsieur! You must put ze potato in ze FRONT of ze trunks!"