An American man is riding a train in Europe

As he is sitting on the train, he realizes he has to take a massive dump. He goes to the men's bathroom, only to find the door locked and a sign saying its broken. The man runs to the front of the train, and asks the conductor if he can use the females room. The conductor said,"I'm sorry, but there is no way I can let you in there. There is 3 buttons in there and I know you Americans can't help but press them!" The man replied,"Sir, I really have to shit! I promise I won't press any buttons if you just let me in there!" After thinking about it for awhile, the conductor lets him use the girls bathroom. The man drops the biggest dump he ever had, then he goes to flush. The man then saw three buttons; a powder blue, a light pink, and deep bright red. Being the man he is, he pressed he blue button. "Whoa! That felt really good!" The man said. He looked around, then pressed the pink. "Wow! This is great!" He said, wondering why he was ever told not to press the buttons. He then pressed the red button, screamed a horrible scream, and passed out. He woke up to the conductor over him, shaking his head. The conductor asked,"You pressed the buttons, didn't you?" The man shook his head yes, tears in his eyes. "Let me guess, you started with the blue, and then the pink?" The conductor said. The man whimpered,"Yes... What were those buttons?" "The blue was water, cleaning your bum for you, and the pink was powder, making you fresh."
"Then what was the red one?"
The conductor leaned in real close, and whispered,"That was the tampon remover. Your dick is under the pillow."

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