An American, Englishman, & Australian were arguing which of their versions of football were the toughest.

An American, and Englishman, and an Australian were discussing which of their particular brands of football were the toughest.

The American said, "We've got this quarterback Peyton Manning who's just won his second Super Bowl ring. Well, one day Manning was sacked so hard, his front split open and his guts spilled out onto the turf. Luckily, one of the best surgeons in the country was in the crowd, and he scooped up Manning's guts, shovelled them back inside, and sewed Manning up. He continued the game, and went on to throw the winning touchdown pass. That's how tough American football is."

The Englishman said, "That's quite tough, but there's an English footballer named Steven Gerrard who played for Liverpool and captained the national team. During one match, while rising up to meet a corner kick, Gerrard headed the ball so hard his head split open and his brains tumbled out onto the pitch. Fortunately in the crowd, there was a quite splendid neurosurgeon who picked up the brains, dusted them off, and tucked them back into Gerrard's skull, before sewing back up. Gerrard went on to play the rest of the match, and scored a magnificent winner in the 90th minute. That's how tough English football is."

The Australian said, "That's pretty tough, but we had a footy player back in the day named Sam Newman, who had no guts, no brains, and still managed to play 300 games for his club. That's how tough Australian football is!