An alcoholic arrives at a bar at 5 pm to get wasted, in his usual fashion. By his 8th shot, he vomits on his shirt. He begins to panic, knowing that his wife will be able to tell that he was drinking. The bar tender takes pity on the man and decides to offer the poor man some expert advice. "Put a 10$ bill in your pocket and say someone else threw up on your shirt and gave you the 10$ to have your shirt cleaned." The man agrees with the idea, thanks the bartender, and leaves a nice tip. He gets home and, as expected, his wife is upset. The alcoholic quickly explains the situation, and pulls out a 20$ bill. The wife says, "Wait... You said he gave you 10$ to get the vomit removed. Why do you have a twenty?" The man says, "Oh, I forgot to mention, he shit in my pants too!"
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