The New Alphabet for Older PeopleA's for arthritis B's for bad back C's for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac? D is for dental decay and decline E is for eyesight--can't read that top line F is for fissures and fluid retention G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention) And other gastrointestinal glitches H is high blood pressure I is for itches J is for joints that are failing to flex L for libido--what happened to sex? Wait! I forgot about K for bad knees (I've got a few gaps in my M-memory) N's for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis O is for osteo- P's for porosis Q is for queasiness. Fatal? Just flu? R is for reflux--one meal becomes two S is for sleepless nights counting my fears T is for tinnitus--bells in my ears U is for difficulties urinary V is for vertigo W is worry About what the X--as in X ray--will find But through the word "terminal" rushes to mind, I'm proud, as each Y - year - goes by, to reveal A reservoir of undiminished Z - zeal--- For checking the symptoms my body's deployed, And keeping my twenty-six doctors employed.
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.