Air Ireland

Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night, with Paddy the pilot and Gerry the co-pilot.


As they approached Dublin Airport, they looked out of the front window.


'By Jesus,' said Paddy, 'will you look at how fookin short that runway is.'


'Ya not fookin kiddin, Paddy,' replied Gerry.


'This is going to be one of the trickiest landings you are ever gonna see,' said Paddy.


'Ya not fookin kiddin, Paddy,' replied Gerry.


'Roit Gerry, when I give the signal, you put to engines in reverse,' said Paddy.


'Roit, I'll be doing dat,' replied Gerry.


'And den you put the flaps down straight away,' said Paddy.


'Roit, I'll be doing dat,' replied Gerry.


'And den you stamp on tern brakes as hard as you can,' said Paddy.


'Roit, I'll be doing dat,' replied Gerry.


'And den you pray to Mother Mary with alla you soul,' said Paddy.


'Roit, I'll be doing dat,' replied Gerry.


So they approached the runway with Paddy and Gerry full of nerves and sweaty palms.


As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Gerry put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, rammed the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all of his soul.


Amid roaring engines, squealing of tires and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt 2 cm from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Gerry and everyone on board.


As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Gerry, 'Dat has gotta be to shortest fookin runway I have ever seen in my whole life.'


Gerry looked out the side window and replied, 'Yeah Paddy, and the fookin widest too.'