Air Currents

I learned this joke when I was about eight. My parents liked it so much I had to tell it to all their friends.

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There's a bar on the 88th floor of the Empire State Building with an open balcony overlooking the city. One one fine April afternoon, two drunks stood at the railing, deep in conversation.

"I'm telling you," the first drunk said, "it's all air currentsh. They blow crazy through thish city."

The second drunk was having none of it, but the first drunk was persistent. "No, the air currentsh are shtrong, man. They're sho shtrong that, why, if you jumped off this building, off thish balcony right here, they'd be so shtrong that you'd fall down and the air currentsh would blow you right back up again."

The second drunk, who'd not had nearly as much as the first, continued to express extreme skepticism. But the first drunk persisted.

"No, you don't understand, it'sh all air currentsh," he insisted. "I'll prove it. Here, hold my beer and watch."

With that, before anyone could do anything, the first drunk climbed the iron railing around the balcony and leapt.

Down, down down, he fell. The air streamed and swirled around him. He passed the sixtieth floor, the fiftieth, still accelerating. Forty. Thirty...

And then he started to slow. And around the fifteenth floor, he stopped, bobbed a bit and was blown straight back up. Up past forty, past sixty, all the way back up to the eighty eighth floor, over the railing to land right in front of the second drunk. He took his beer from the stunned man and took a long pull.

"That was amazing!" the second man exclaimed, "let me try!" With that, the second man climbed the iron railing and leapt.

Down, down down, he fell. The air streamed and swirled around him. He passed the sixtieth floor, the fiftieth, still accelerating. Forty. Thirty. Twenty. Ten! **SPLAT**.

The first drunk stumbled back to the bar, demanding another beer. The bartender looked at him and scowled, "you're a mean drunk, Superman."