After yoga class, I followed my instructor home and broke into her bedroom window. She screamed and told me I need to leave.

The secret of...

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it...

So... There was a...

But don't worry-- he woke up.

What's a nickname...

Come on, this is reddit. What's your nickname?

In the style of...

I don't like fish eggs on my sushi... ...because I'm against abortion

The two lesbians...

The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday. I was...

A lifeguard blows...

He says to the boy, "Hey, you're not allowed to pee in the pool." "That's...

Hi Mrs. Smith ......

Yes I know Mrs. Smith. We want to use him for home plate !

How are UFO's...

How are UFO's related to hamburgers? Both are Unidentified Frying Objects!

Ponder This

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they...

What do you call...

A Caterpillar