A woman decides to have a facelift for her...

A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5,000 and
feels pretty good about the results.


On her way home she stops at a newstand to buy a paper. Before leaving,
she asks the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do
you think I am?"


"About 32", the clerk replies.


"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.


A little while later she goes into McDonalds and upon getting her order,
asks the counter girl the same question.


She replies, "I'd guess about 29."


The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47." Now she is feeling really good about
herself.


While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He
replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is starting to go. Although, when I was
young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires
you to let me put my hands up your shirt and feel your breasts. Then I can
tell exactly how old you are."


They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of
the woman and she finally says, "What the hell, go ahead".


The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under her bra, and begins to
feel around.


After about 20 seconds she says, "Okay, Okay, how old am I?"


He removes his hands and says, "You are 47."


Stunned the woman says, "That is amazing. How did you know?".


The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds."