A Spaniard, a Frenchman, and an American are on a rain-forest expedition...

When suddenly, out of nowhere, they are captured by a tribe of cannibals. The chief of the tribe has the men brought before him.

"Our tribe has lasted for many, many seasons." he says, "Mainly due to our chiefs being able to make changes to benefit our tribe. I have decided that during **my** reign, all or our prisoners will be informed of what will happen to them, and be able to choose their own fate accordingly."

 

"So, in keeping with this ruling, I have to tell you that we are going to kill you, eat your flesh, and use your skin to make our canoes. Each of you will be able to choose the manner of your death, to make it easier upon yourself."

 

The chief turns to the Frenchman. "So, I ask you...How do you choose to die?"

 

The Frenchman considers this for a moment. After thinking, he says "Hand me a knife." Having been bound by his own rules, the chief motions for a close tribesman to give the man a knife.

 

Without a moments hesitation, the Frenchman holds the knife aloft and yells "**I DIE FOR FRANCE!**" and slashes his own throat, then dies, bleeding out on the rainforest floor.

 

The chief turns to the Spaniard. "It is your turn." he says. "How do you choose to die?

 

Without hesitation, the Spaniard says "That man died a brave death. I shall do the same." The chief gestures for the Spaniard to be given a knife, and upon receiving it, the man immediately holds it aloft, yells "**I DIE FOR SPAIN!**", slashes his own throat, and dies, bleeding out on the rainforest floor.

 

The chief then turns to the American. "You are the last of your friends alive." he says. "They have both died honorable, brave deaths. How shall you?"

 

The American thinks for a little while. He paces, hand on his chin, deep in thought. For close to 10 minutes he paces, until the chief has lost his patience.

 

"**ENOUGH!**" the chief bellows. "**HAVE YOU DECIDED YOUR FATE, OR WILL I DECIDE IT FOR YOU?**"

 

"Hold your horses, Chief." the American says. "I've decided. Toss me a fork."

 

The chief pauses, taken aback. "Uh...a fork? Are you sure?"

 

"Yeah, I'm sure. Toss it here, and let's get this over with." the American says.

 

The chief, still a bit flustered, gestures for the closest tribesman to toss the man a fork. Upon seeing it done, the chief sits back, perturbed.

 

The American stares at the fork, hand still on his chin. Just as the chief is about to give the order for the other tribesmen to slaughter him for delaying his fate, the American holds the fork high.

 

"**FUCK YOUR CANOES!**" the American yells, then begins stabbing himself everywhere with the fork.