Its Sunday morning and a young preacher is set to lead his first service ever. Needless to say, he is beside himself with stress. Arriving early at the church, one of the more seasoned preachers notices this and pulls him closer and whispers in his ear:"Go get some vodka, it musters ones courage." So without hesitation, the sprite is off to the liquor store and returns with bottle in hand.
They setup a full glass of vodka next to the microphone, so whenever he feels a bit edgy, he can take a sip and it will put him at ease. Good idea? ......... GREAT idea as far as he is concerned!!
Just before the service, the shattered nerves make him take a few big gulps of the see-though fluid and off he goes! He grabs the mic like he's a rockstar and hits it off with the congregation right from the start. He has them listening to every single word, absolutely nailed to his lips. He even gets a cheer from some of the older gents nearer to the end of his speech.
Afterwards - given that it went to well - he decides to go thank the old master of remedies. As he approaches he can see that the oldtimer is not amused. The old man pulls him aside as soon as he's within reach and whispers, "Listen here young lad, it was a good speach, but you made some mistakes back there. There are 10 commandments, not 20. There were 12 apostles, not 24 ........and Cain didn't cunt Abel to death with a rock!"
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