A police sergeant walks over to the dispatch cop on duty and starts complaining...

A police sergeant walks over to the dispatch cop on duty and starts complaining. "You wouldn't believe the wackos that walk in here! I just had this guy come in, college-age, tells me he was at a party and when he went upstairs this chick tried to rape him. He said she was pullin' his clothes off and shoving him onto the bed. And he wants to press charges! I tell him, 'Kid, what you're describing is every man's dream. What are you, a fag? You oughtta feel lucky a woman had her hand down your pants!' I told him to get the fuck out and stop wasting my time."

The dispatch cop listens to all this but doesn't say anything.

Soon after, the sergeant goes on duty. Dispatch sends him to a big department store where a security guard had finally caught a lady shoplifter who'd been hitting a lot of stores in the area.

The sergeant heads over there, but then nothing. No word from him for about forty minutes.

Finally the radio comes on. There's some grunting at first, then the sergeant yells, "Get me backup!! I had that bitch in handcuffs and somehow she got loose! She cuffed me to my own goddam cruiser! I just finally got myself turned around enough to call in. And if that wasn't bad enough, she picked my pockets and ran off! My wallet and my gun, both gone!"

The dispatch cop listens to all this, then smiles and says, "Awww, whassamatter, faggot? You oughtta feel lucky a woman had her hand down your pants!"