A plumber dies and goes to heaven.

He arrives at the pearly gates, but he cannot get in. There's a mile-long line at the gates. Saint Peter steps away from the gate and walks down the line to address the situation to the believers.

"Hello," began Saint Peter. "As you can see, heaven is a bit backed up right now. Some non-believers have been shut out of hell and purgatory, and they were sent here. As you can see, there is a long wait to get into heaven."

"I might be able to fix it," replied the plumber. Saint Peter lets the plumber cut the line to heaven, and the plumber wanders around for a few minutes. He eventually finds a lever in a secret control room. The traffic in heaven breaks up, and the non-believers descend into hell.

Saint Peter is impressed by the plumber. "So that's where I built the control room. I'm impressed. You are more than welcome to stay in heaven now. May God embrace you."

"There's no need to thank me," said the plumber. "Whenever a toilet is clogged, you call a plumber to flush the crap away." Saint Peter is insulted by the plumber's terminology. The plumber can sense it. "There's one piece of crap that didn't get flushed down. But thank God you said I'm welcome to stay. I hate the sewers anyway."