He says, "First mate, there is a pirate vessel coming straight for us. We must take evasive maneuvers. And bring me my red shirt."
The first mate says, "Your red shirt? Why captain?"
Captain says, "So if I am wounded in the coming battle, the men won't know see me bleed."
"Good Idea!" Says the first mate.
They survive the battle, the captain is uninjured and they sail on. Two days later the captain sees 4 pirate ships in closing in on them in the distance.
Captain says, "First mate, we have two pirate ships baring down on us today. We must take evasive maneuvers and prepare to be boarded. Oh, and bring me my brown pants."
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