A man was hiking in the desert...

...when he came across an old genie lamp. Naturally, he rubbed it, and out came Javier, a beginner Genie. Javier says, "Hello my amigo! For rubbing my lamp, you get two....I mean three wishes! What is your first wish?" "Hmm" the man thought. "I wish I was in a relationship with a girl who is a 10 on the hot scale and a 4 on the crazy scale!" *poof* a goddess-like girl appeared, jumping on top of him, wanting him to do whatever he wanted to her. "What do you want next?" Asked the genie. "I wish this girl will always love me, no matter what, and that she'll let me do what I want, when I want!"! "Done" says the genie. "And for your final wish?" The man thought long and hard, while his new girlfriend was kissing his neck and face. "I've got it! I wish for three more wishes!" The genie responds with "well shucks my friend! That ain't allowed! Anything else?" The man says "then I wish to live forever With this girl!" All of the sudden *poof* they both turn into volcanoes. The man, now a volcano, yells "what the fuck have you done! We're volcanos!" "Well", says the genie "volcanos live forever, and isn't that what you asked for? To live forever with her". The man, very frustrated, realized there is nothing he can do, and dealt with it. 65 years go, and the man is getting frustrated with his girlfriend, and did not love her anymore. She was obsessed with him, and wouldn't stop telling him how she loves him and wants to have passionate fiery volcano sex with him. He was just tired of it, and decided he would kill himself by erupting. He finally did it, escaping this girl, and while he was erupting, having a slow and painful death, his girlfriend yelled out to him "Wait! I lava you!"