"Dear Father, forgive me, I've sinned. I've coveted the new iPhone 6s, and in my greed and pride I went out and bought it so I could show off to my friends."
The priest says, "How long its been since your last confession, my son?"
"I've never been to a confession, I'm Jewish"
The priests then asks "So why are you telling me?"
"Because I'm telling everyone."
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